“Let’s finally move to the farewell.”
It was without sadness, tears, if I may joke, since we knew we would meet soon. We hugged for quite some time, then kissed on cheeks, and then kissed again on closed mouths. The whole session was a gift, of course – the kiss just added the intimacy or rather brought the intimacy to a new level. Mistress is so remarkable. Farewell to be remembered, a weekend to be remembered for the rest of my life.
“And how about a withdrawal effect?”
Yes, it was and still is a struggle. Mistress literally gets under your skin. And you cannot help it. You can just embrace it. Need to embrace it, in fact. Surrender to the feeling. So I was daydreaming while at work.
“And how did you daydream?”
I was reenacting our session, and also our time together during Saturday afternoon. Sometimes adding some scenes we were not able, for time reasons, to enact. Or to build upon the scenes we have done. If I could, I would immediately meet with Mistress.
“Very nice. Now read the thank-you note you have written to Mistress.”
Dear Mistress, I already miss You, and it cannot be any other way as you are still present in the apartment, maybe in some other realms than the material ones. Thanks again for letting me into our intimate world, it is truly an honor. You have touched me profoundly and will take me a while to appropriately process and express the impact You have on me. Unfortunately, You have forgotten your flower, which has now become the memory of You. Tonight, cannot stay in the apartment (would miss You way too much) despite the fact that I am so tired: will go to watch Nutcracker. Wish You a safe trip and will send You photos and everything soon. Kisses and love, r
“More notes you have written to Mistress?”
Yes. Wrote Her that I was thinking about Her all the time during the performance and then prepared the story, our story to be published on her Telegram channel.
“What story? Elaborate.”
I prepared 12 photographs and 1 video from our session and wrote captions for them. First as if Mistress would be writing them, but then based on her feedback, changed them to my perspective.
“Perspective of a slave?”
The story was told that Mistress surprised me with chastity, dog training device, and anal plug. As I did not consent of wearing anal plug through the night, She flogged me. Then She tied me up for the strap*n play, took me, and the final photo was of erection in the cage, and caption describing how Mistress would put me in the remotely controlled chastity.
“So pretty much what has really happened.”
Yes. Just put different scenes together with some exaggeration here and there for the sake of a story.
“This exercise also gave you some opportunity to process the session. Before our interview, of course.”
Yes. And I am grateful for you interviewing me.
“Of course, you are. You always say right things. You just need to learn to also implement them.”
Trouble in paradise
“Was there anything you would have done differently during 3 days with Mistress? And be honest and open.”
Yes, I think so.
I would prefer not to say it as we have already cleared it up with Mistress.
“Well, well… I cannot believe my ears. Should I whip you now, whip you really hard in order you start appropriately communicating.”
“I mean it. Would you like me to do it?”
I feel like the story has been concluded, I cannot see if discussing it would bring anything additionally.
“Let me be the judge of that. And you still talk like you have not learned anything neither from Mistress nor from me. As you would like to be beaten day in, day out. Is that what I should recommend to Mistress Patricia?”
I apologize, I got confused, the interview is quite demanding.
“Of course, it is. It is supposed to be demanding. My job is to turn you inside out like a glove. Mistress Patricia pushed your limits, and I am here to push them as well. And yet you resist, you push back.”
No. I did not mean…
“Of course, you did not. Let’s move back to trouble in paradise. So what happened?”
It was around 3 pm on Day 3, after our lunch, 2 hours to go of our meeting. I was already tired, pleasantly tired and Mistress was lying on the bed in her bedroom. She told me to come to the bedroom and we watched together Hurricane video of 30 Seconds to Mars, which had strong BDSM connotations. Next Mistress told me to massage her feet, and then kiss her behind. And then massage her feet again. And then I do not know, Mistress sensed something was amiss and She asked me to open up. I said that I would rather not as it might be unpleasant. She insisted me telling Her by shocking me, so I really had no option.
“But to tell Her.”
Well, I said that I felt massaging of her feet was rather repetitive. Which was totally stupid of me to say. Not only stupid, also disrespectful, offensive. Purely rude. Ignorant. Insulting. And did not properly reflect what I was feeling.
“And Mistress erupted?”
Yes, She got really angry. She said that She would now kill me, that She only needed to think how. That She could get in 30 minutes someone who would be happiest person on the planet in giving Her a foot massage and that there could easily be a 50-m line of men, who would be more than happy to oblige. Which was of course, true.
“Certainly it was true. What were you thinking to say something like that?”
Later, I analyzed, and I think I was just frustrated as I knew that within 2 hours Mistress would be gone. And I just wanted to be in closer contact with Her body, to touch her skin with my lips, to place soft, dry kisses all over her body. Maybe to give Her pleasure. This would have been such a pleasure for me.
“You were again thinking about your needs. You very well know Mistress may have not needed such attention.”
I know. But I really got scared of Her being angry.
“Because She would have punished you?”
Punishment would have been the easier part, although She could have dished it out on the harder end of the spectrum. I was scared of ruining the beautiful weekend, for ending the session on a sour note, of her leaving angry.
“Of never accepting you again?”
Also of this. I begged Her to conclude the session nicely, that I would be glad to massage her feet for another two hours.
“Which She rejected, of course?”
Yes. She dragged me to the living room, tied my wrists behind my back and then started flogging me. She told me She knew exactly what I was thinking that there was not enough action and that Mistress should be perpetually entertaining her slave. And that I should have never thought I could hide any thought from Her.
“Well, your comment about repetitiveness really sounded like you wanted to be entertained.”
I know, while it did not anyhow reflect what I was feeling. Mistress then noticed my hands got blue, so out of concern for me, She untied me, and tied my ankles instead in a beautiful and elaborate shibari style. She told me to stay in a doggy style position and think about what I have said.
“You see, always taking care of your well-being. Perfect Mistress.”
She is absolute perfection. After quite some time, She returned to the living room and told me whether I have thought about it. I apologized and told Her with almost tears in my eyes that all I meant was to be closer to Her. Truly. That I treasured Her, our weekend together, and that I wanted to do everything to please Her. She then said She would have never let me near her feet again, and I begged Her to reconsider, just not to drive me away as this would be the hardest punishment. She also told me and I do not remember when exactly that She could easily destroy my mind and body and destroy my body without any visible signs.
“There is no shred of doubt about that. Mistress is psychologically extremely strong. You are aware of that, hopefully?”
I know. I felt it. She also asked me whether I really thought She would have lost her temper and whipped me in an uncontrolled way. And I answered that I did not fear for a moment She would not be professional, while there was always a possibility to whip me either on the lighter or harder end of the spectrum. But as I have already said, later I realized, I was not afraid of pain or marks that would have lingered for weeks, I was afraid She would have left in anger, without a feel-good factor at the end of session. I was sincerely worried of disappointing Her, letting Her down.
“So you are not indifferent to her opinion about yourself.”
No, not at all. She is a natural authority for me.
“And I have a feeling you were finally able to reconcile with Mistress.”
It meant so much when She told me She had almost forgiven me. And I knelt in front of Her and I told Her She was perfection. I helped Her out tidying up the latex clothes, rubbing them with silica.
“While having ankles tied up all the time?”
Yes. And it felt really good. It was keeping me in a sub-space. And Mistress came across so strong; I was truly scared of Her.
“So how would you overall evaluate your faux pas?”
It was a huge mistake, which I will never make again. I have immediately in the evening downloaded some books on reflexology and saw how ignorant I was. Next time I would like to show Mistress my worth when it comes to her feet. A positive side was that this blunder eliminated the border between the play and real life experience. My stupid comment was too personal to be taken anyhow lightly, or differently from the side of Mistress as it had been. Seeing Mistress’ power is still reverberating in my mind and body.
“So She completely dominated you?”
Yes. Completely. This domination put Her imprint on me. The whole session reached unexplored dimensions. I never thought this would be possible in a professional session where the energies are exchanged.
“That’s great. I will now tell you how I would treat you if we were to meet next time. I would lock you in chastity, put the dog training device around your neck, and fit you with the anal plug. Then I would put your dog’s mask on, a little magnetic spheres on your nipples, while you would need to massage my feet for two hours based what you have learned from the books. After two hours, I would flog you, much harder than Mistress Patricia flogged you last time; only at the very end, I would take a dog’s mask off and allow you to kiss my feet. With soft, dry kisses, as you have said. You can only imagine how it would hurt when I would take little magnetic spheres off your nipples. Giving you something you can dream about.”
Maybe Mistress will be more merciful.
Ideas for future
“She may. I may also be. Coming to dreams, what would you like to try in your next session?”
I think I have learned during my first session and also today that I should leave the initiative to Mistress. To discuss the ideas with Her or even waiting to be asked. I need to modify this instinct for topping from bottom.
“Bravo. If you can do that, you will be happier and you will make Mistress also happy, which is your ultimate goal. But let’s discuss one idea.”
Well, one idea, and I am very apprehensive here, worried that I may step over the line is to shoot a movie with Her.
“What would be the movie about?”
You know very well the famous Rodin’s sculpture “Eternal Idol”. So, my idea is to make a Femdom movie about it.
“Wow. That is a nice idea.”
Thank you. There is an idol, Mistress and then the submissive, me. The difference with the sculpture is that I would have my hands tied behind my back. In the sculpture, the man is just holding palms together behind his back.
“And you would worship Mistress’ body?”